The Blank Canvas
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Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec (1864 - 1901)
Toulouse-Lautrec enters Café du Tambourin on Boulevard de Clichy, Paris.
T-L: Morning, Agostina.
A: Hello?
T-L: I said, good morning, Agostina.
A: Hello-oo? Anybody there?
A: Henri, so sorry, I forgot.
T-L: Just as you do EVERY time, you stupid bitch.
A: My apologies once again. What's your poison?
T-L: A pint of crème de menthe, please. [Ed: Surely this is a different joke?1]
A: What, no absinthe?
T-L: The doctor's warned me off. Says a man of my ... stature ... can't possibly continue with it.
A: I see. And crème de menthe is OK?
T-L: It's what the Pope drinks. [Ed: Come on now, this really IS another joke.2]
A: Fair enough. Coming right up. Before I forget, Vincent said hello. He really liked the portrait.
T-L: Hasn't said anything to me.
A: Oh, he can be a bit gloomy. Anyway, how are those Montmartre pictures coming on? I enjoyed the Moulin ones.
T-L: Ground to a halt recently.
A: That's a shame.
T-L: Yes, but things may be about to change.
A: Why's that?
T-L: I think I've met my muse.
A: Aha. Who might that be?
T-L: Little thing I met out at Montrouge called Rosa.
A: Any chance of ... erm ... you know?
T-L: I should hope so. It's what she does.
A: Be careful. Don't catch anything.

1: Billy Connolly: When in Rome - Riotous Assembly - 1979
2: As above

Cheat if you must ;-)
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